Be Better Than Your BS (Aired 12-21-25) | Faith, Leadership & Confidence with Stay Hall

[00:00:00] Speaker A: This is Be Better Than youn BS with Resha Grint. And around here, we get rid of the BS game. Changing women, raw stories, real truth about what it takes to lead, win, and stay sane in the process. If you've ever had to fight for your seat at the table, this space is for you. This is now. Media, television, Life and business are about more than titles and wins. They're about how you show up and and the culture you create around you. Sports taught me that early. Discipline, teamwork, and knowing how to pivot under pressure. And that's why I do this show. I'm Resha Grant, the people's champ, and I'm here to bring you real conversations with leaders, change makers, and everyday people who are shaping culture in powerful ways. My guest today is a force of faith, business, and bold moves. State hall is a motivational speaker, author, life coach, and the powerhouse behind isalt and helping people level up through soft skills, leadership and confidence. She's built a business that transforms lives and wrote a book that inspires others to take action. She's proof that your story and strategy can build legacy. State, thank you so much for being here. [00:01:09] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. Yes. [00:01:11] Speaker A: I'm super excited to learn more about your business and definitely want to dive into that book. So you've built a powerful platform rooted in faith, leadership and purpose. What was the moment that made you say, this is what I'm called to do? [00:01:25] Speaker B: Well, it was the moment when I finally decided that I was going to let go of any shame, guilt, unforgiveness for myself. When I was able to look back over my life and see that there was no reason to feel sorry for myself. Everything that I had been through was for a purpose and I needed to start living in that purpose instead of living in the past. [00:01:47] Speaker A: And why does it take us so long to get to that space? [00:01:50] Speaker B: So much wasted time. So much wasted time worrying about things that don't even matter. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Is it an age thing? I mean. Cause I feel, I'm like, I feel like so much is wasted in our youth that we really need to be able to figure out. And people try to tell us, you know, we always have those older people try to talk. We're like, whatever. She don't know, he don't know what they talking about. [00:02:07] Speaker B: It's funny because my husband shared with me something that his senior pastor had shared with him. And it's that you never have youth and wisdom at the same time. [00:02:16] Speaker A: No. [00:02:17] Speaker B: And I'm like, that is so true. It's like I Had the energy back then to do the things that I do now, but I didn't have the wisdom back then. So I guess it happens when it's. [00:02:27] Speaker A: Supposed to happen, but I guess. I guess. And it seems to happen when the gray hairs start coming in. So I would have appreciated some of this wisdom when I was out there floundering in my 20s, which I guess that's what the 20s are for. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Yes. It builds our character. [00:02:41] Speaker A: Yes. So before you became the CEO, the author, and the motivational speaker who was State hall searching to become? [00:02:50] Speaker B: I have always been searching to become the person I am right now. Like, I tell people all the time, I was born an adult, always preferred to be around adults. Kids didn't really like me much when I was young because I've always had this thing about me that I love to talk to people, interact with people, but most of all, make an impact. Always wanted to make an impact. Like, I created podcasts. I tell everybody. I mean, it's not official, but I used to do a radio show out of my bedroom window when I was, like, 8 or 9 years old. [00:03:20] Speaker A: I love that so much. [00:03:21] Speaker B: To the neighborhood, I'm like, hey, y', all, whatever. So, yeah, this is just. It's always been in me. [00:03:26] Speaker A: Were your neighbors. Like, I wish she would shut up sometimes. [00:03:29] Speaker B: But I had a couple very faithful. My neighbors next door, Beverly and Ms. Carame. I mean. Cause I sing, too. So I would sing the songs. I did commercials. I did everything. So. But, yeah, but for the most part, people were like, really? Girl, again tonight. But, you know, I had a couple faithful things. [00:03:47] Speaker A: You are definitely doing what you were saying, what you started out trying to do. [00:03:52] Speaker B: Yes. [00:03:53] Speaker A: Tell us a little bit about isalt. What does that stand for? [00:03:56] Speaker B: ISALT stands for Institute for Success and Leadership Training. And the name ISALT came about with my husband when we were first, you know, in the beginning stages of the business. He just kept saying, I just hear God telling me, you're the salt of the earth. You're the salt of the earth. I was then tasked with, now you have to come up with a name for the company that includes salt. Which seemed like a very difficult thing at the time, but it just kind of came to me. So Institute for Success and Leadership Training. And that's what we do. We help develop leaders. [00:04:27] Speaker A: Have you seen that? To be a little more difficult lately? Because I feel like leadership is really struggling in the world that we're in today. You know, people are scared to make moves. The economy, the world, the administration. I mean, there's so many things. That pressure that leaders are under. So are you finding it more difficult than in the past? [00:04:50] Speaker B: It can be. And what I've noticed is all the things that you just said. Right. People are afraid to take that leap of faith that everybody, you know, in the, like 2016 to 2019, everybody was just kind of doing their thing. And then Covid hit. Right, Right. And everybody was fearful. And then things start changing in the economy. But another big issue that I'm noticing now in leadership is the multi generational workforce. Right. And so we have the baby boomers who now have a millennial as their boss and trying to navigate that space and give the millennials the support that they need to be effective leaders, but also teaching them the way of the baby boomers and then kind of trying to soften the baby boomers. Like, you can learn something from anyone. It's okay. It's okay. So that's a big challenge right now. [00:05:42] Speaker A: And you even bringing that up really makes me want to get into the forgotten generation, which is mine. Gen X. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Same, same. [00:05:50] Speaker A: And it's interesting to see. Cause when as people graduate and companies want that young leadership, it seems like they forget about the Gen X and the boomers and the people that have institutional knowledge. Because when you tick them off and they leave, they leaving with 20, 30 years of information that you need to keep the draw y. [00:06:10] Speaker B: The keys to the drawer. [00:06:11] Speaker A: It's true. Okay. You shared how it felt to be running in circles early in your journey. What was the turning point when things. [00:06:19] Speaker B: Started to align for you? Well, when I realized that I didn't have to chase anything. And so that's kind of where the running in circles was. I always felt like I was chasing after. I was chasing after. And then I just had to sit with myself and first of all, allow myself to realize that I was enough and that I didn't have to chase opportunities, that if I was just authentically myself, things would come to me and I would attract what I wanted. Because I realized by chasing, then that means if you're chasing something, then what? It's running away. And so I may never catch it. And so I just had to learn to be still. [00:06:57] Speaker A: What was the internal process, though, to get to the space of. Of knowing that you were enough? Because I think it's so important, I always try to help, especially any women that are watching the show, to recognize that you are enough. So what was your process for you to get there? [00:07:12] Speaker B: For me, number one, it was recognizing and realizing and being okay with the fact that I needed therapy. I wasn't happy and didn't really know why I wasn't happy. Was very confident, but at the same time doubted myself a lot. And so I was living this battle. And so I realized I need someone to help me figure this out. I can't keep doing it. And I encourage anyone, no matter what, don't wait until crisis to get therapy. Have therapy on deck all the time. I mean, I love the fact that there is someone that I can talk to with no judgment and whatever. And it just helped me work through it. You have to do the work because we're digging through a lot of stuff, and some of these things and the limiting beliefs that we have are things that we've been carrying since maybe we were five years old. And you don't even realize it until you do the work. And so that was the turning point with me. It's like, okay, girl, what you're doing is not working. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:07] Speaker B: And so I reached out. [00:08:09] Speaker A: Well, and I tell people all the time, we're living through the past, hurts, pains and experiences, the people who raised us. And so as we live through that, we carry on those things that have nothing to do with us. [00:08:19] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:08:19] Speaker A: They have absolutely nothing to do with us. And they become a part of our story. And then you look up like, and someone asks. You will ask you a question, and you realize had absolutely nothing to do with me. And I've been carrying it for 50 years. [00:08:33] Speaker B: Yep. [00:08:33] Speaker A: And it doesn't mean that their experiences didn't matter. It just means that it's not mine to carry. So we got to get out there and find it for ourselves. Yes. I want to talk about faith a little bit, because you talk a lot about faith. Even when I spoke to you earlier, it was so prevalent. And it's a big thing for me as well. And it shaped the way you lead and build, or how has it shaped the way that you lead and build in business? [00:08:58] Speaker B: Well, for me, it's one thing that my faith has done is really shown me that there is no such thing as perfection except for our heavenly Father and realizing that mistakes are going to happen and it's okay. And so it gave me an empathetic leadership style where I have absolutely no issue at all with being able to put myself in someone else's shoes. And my faith has also given me that foundation of grace. I need grace every day. And so who am I to not extend grace to others as a leader? Sometimes we think, especially women in leadership, one of the main things that we bring that our Male counterparts don't always have is that nurturing spirit, but it's looked upon sometimes as weak, but it's so needed. And so I go into my leadership as a nurturer, as a servant leader, and that's just all built on the faith, because that's what I need. And so when I'm given that grace every day, then I extend it to others. [00:09:59] Speaker A: Yes. I love that grace, servitude. Those are words that I think are very powerful and very needed in the world today. Yes. [00:10:07] Speaker B: I mean, it would solve the world's problems if everyone had that mindset. [00:10:11] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, my gosh. And I talk about that a lot. Being in service to each other. [00:10:16] Speaker B: Yes. [00:10:17] Speaker A: Because that also allows you to be in service to yourself and understanding what you need, what personal values sit at the center of everything you do with eyesaw. And then running for your life. And I love the name of that, by the way, Running through your life. [00:10:31] Speaker B: So I was. Yeah, that's. We'll talk about that. [00:10:33] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:34] Speaker B: But for me, my core value is always going to be integrity. Always. I am a woman of my word. If I say I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. And if I can't, I'm gonna be honest about that. And so integrity, honesty, those are the things that are at the foundation of everything that I do. I have this thing I tell everybody. I never want anybody to be able to go back and say, well, and it's not really what happened. And so I'm very, very, very intentional about that and always, you know, being honest. I was in a room with some women leaders the other day, and one of them said something very profound about making mistakes. They said, you know, making mistakes is fine. The key is just tell the truth and tell it quickly. [00:11:19] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:20] Speaker B: When the mistake is made, tell the truth quickly, and then you can rebound from it. And that's just that. I can't promise it's gonna be great every time, but I'm gonna take accountability. So that's another one. Accountability. So, yeah, those are my foundations. [00:11:32] Speaker A: Those. And those are so powerful. And, you know, you would think that there are things that should already be. But you notice the older you get, the more you work with people, it's just not the case. [00:11:44] Speaker B: It's not. [00:11:44] Speaker A: It is not the case. Service, grace, empathy, all of the words that you use. It's just like people haven't. They act like they have no idea. [00:11:53] Speaker B: That they exist, and sometimes they don't. And that's what kind of keeps me in business. Cause that's what I teach all the time because it's not innately in everyone, but it can be taught. But people have to be open and receptive to it. [00:12:05] Speaker A: Yeah, agreed. Coming up, we'll dive into the big plays and pivots that shaped Stay's career. Hold up. We're just getting started. More truth, more strategy and less bs. Coming up next on Be Better Than youn BS right here on Now Media Television. This is Be Better Than youn BS with Resha Grant. And around here, we get rid of the bs. Welcome back to Be Better Than your bs. Want more of what you're watching? Stay connected to Be Better Than youn BS in every NOW Media TV favorite, live or on demand, anytime you like. Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and unlock nonstop bilingual programming in English and Spanish on the move. You can also catch the podcast version right from our website at www.nowmedia.tv. from business and news to lifestyle, culture and beyond, Now Media TV is streaming around the clock. Ready whenever you are. I'm here with entrepreneur and author Stay Hall. And now we're talking about the defining moves that changed the game in her career from the business to becoming an author. You turned your personal journey into purpose driven work. How did running for your life in ISALT actually come to life? [00:13:22] Speaker B: Well, running for your life, I was actually training for a marathon at the time when I wrote it. And that is when I first, I guess I was about 45 years old. And that's when I kind of was like on my real hard self love journey. And so life is spelled L Y F E love yourself first explicitly. And so it was just a combination because most of my thinking and everything would happen when I would be out there on the trails running. And I'm just kind of having that inner dialogue or I'm listening to, you know, something positive in the ear. And so I just kind of combined those two because I really at that time felt like I was running for my life, running towards my self love. And so that's how that came about. And isalt there was a combination of how that came about. A big impact of ISALT was our children. So we have six children, all grown now. But at the time of isalt they were just transitioning from college into the workforce and then a couple from high school into college. And we realized even though they had done all the right things, great students, played sports, went to college, whatever, they were lacking certain soft skills that we didn't realize. So they would go on interviews and come home and we're like, well, how'd the interview go? [00:14:37] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:14:38] Speaker B: What would they ask you? I don't know. What did you tell them? [00:14:40] Speaker A: This? [00:14:41] Speaker B: I don't know. And we're like, oh, my gosh, where did we fail? We realized, okay, did you talk at all? And so then I started taking one of my sons to networking events, realized he didn't know how to introduce himself to people. And so that's kind of a part of the beginning of I salt where we realized a need in the home. So our children were our first clients. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. I feel like the younger generation, they don't know how to talk. They don't know how to talk to adults, for one. They're on their phone. And when we grew up, you actually had to call someone's house, say hello to their parents, ask them how they were doing, and then get to talk to your friend. [00:15:14] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:15:15] Speaker A: And so my sister, she made my niece and nephew do that. [00:15:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:19] Speaker A: You know, and they hated it. They hated it so much. [00:15:22] Speaker B: I'm glad she. Cause I didn't. I didn't. And it's funny, like, we talked about how you grew up. So I grew up. My mom had a huge family. And if we went into my grandmother's house and there were, like, four aunts and three uncles in there, we had to speak to each one individual, one of them. So, of course, that was one of the things. Cause I'm like, why can't I just walk in? Cause the adults would just walk in and say, hey, y', all, and keep it moving. Why can't I? So then I didn't make my kids do it, but look what happened. [00:15:46] Speaker A: Yes. No. My grandmother had a saying, you didn't sleep here last night, or you didn't hang your hat here last night. And it took me forever to find her, realize what that meant. Cause I was like, what does she mean? I don't have a hat right. So you need to dress everybody in this room. So did you finish the marathon? [00:16:05] Speaker B: I did not. I did not. Well, Covid happened, okay. Covid happened, so. But I did get up to being able to run 16 miles. So I didn't go the full. But in my training, I got up to 16 miles, and I'm kind of teetering on whether or not I wanted to. [00:16:21] Speaker A: That is pretty dope. I mean, yeah. Listen, I run three, and I'm proud of myself. I'm out here. Like, I mean, there were some days. [00:16:28] Speaker B: That I thought I was going to die out there, but it was Great. Though it also is just very liberating. So. And I still do 5Ks, but I haven't. [00:16:36] Speaker A: Well, you really get to know yourself out there running, because it's just you and the music or whatever you're listening to, and it's a great time to reconnect with you. [00:16:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:16:45] Speaker A: So writing a book, it's a dream for so many people that few can actually follow through. 1. What was the spark that made you actually put the pen to paper? [00:16:54] Speaker B: Well, I had been tossing around the idea of writing a book for years. Yes. Had no idea what that really looked like. I mean, I knew how to write, but I'm like, how do you get it published? How do you. And so I kept putting it on the back burner. But once I really started on that journey and the self love, I realized this. Somebody else needs this. And so I don't have any choice but to write this, because I am not a gatekeeper at all. And so anytime I have an aha moment, anytime I'm able to solve a problem for myself, I want to share it with someone else. But even then, I still didn't actually start. So what I had to do was go on Facebook live. Mm. And announce that I was writing a book and it was going to be released on Mother's Day. [00:17:35] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:17:36] Speaker B: Had nothing to do with. So you would keep your word, like I told you, integrity. I don't want to hear what they said she was gonna do. And so that's what I did once I made that announcement on New Year's Day. Then that book was released in May. [00:17:47] Speaker A: Oh, wow. You may. Okay. In May. [00:17:49] Speaker B: Yes. [00:17:50] Speaker A: Yeah, it's tough. I've written two. And it took me 10 years to finish that first book, especially when I sent it off to the editor and it came back looking like a elementary school essay paper with all this red. I put it back in the envelope, threw it in the drawer. It was like, whatever. But I think life happened. And then it was, okay, you've got to go back to this. You've got to go and do this. Did you find the process lonely at times? Yes. [00:18:16] Speaker B: At times very lonely. Because I didn't personally have anyone in my circle who had ever done it before. I reached out for help a couple of times. And, you know, sometimes I can be funny. People don't really want to help, which is why I do what I do. Like, I will help people with anything. I give away the store. And so there were times when it was lonely and even, you know, with my husband being my Biggest support. My cheerleader. He had never been on that journey. And so he's just kind of like, what do you need from me? And I'm like, I don't know. [00:18:42] Speaker A: Yeah. It's not an easy process. It's not. I would tell you I had the cleanest nails in my life. Writing a book. Just right. Right. Sitting there, trying to figure out. Cause some days you might write a line, some days you might write a chapter. It's always a process. [00:18:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:57] Speaker A: What's one practical step someone can take today that they want to start writing a book? [00:19:03] Speaker B: This is gonna sound very vague and empty, but it's the truth. Just start. Yes, Just start. I would agree. [00:19:10] Speaker A: I would agree. [00:19:11] Speaker B: Just sit down. And like you said, maybe it's just a line. I tell people I do a thing called Chapter Storming that I created. It's my little thing. Just write out titles of chapters and then let those lead you. [00:19:24] Speaker A: Just. [00:19:24] Speaker B: But just start. Just start. It's that simple. [00:19:27] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's. It is really a process, though, like, figuring out what time works for you. Like, I had to do it in the morning. If I wait till afternoon, it wasn't happening. [00:19:36] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:37] Speaker A: You know, I met a guy who said he flew flies when he's writing a book. He flies from the east coast to the west coast with his headphones on, and nobody bothers him. And he gets. And I was like, yeah, you know, so if you have the money for that, cool. But if not, find the space to tie. [00:19:53] Speaker B: That's a very expensive co working. [00:19:54] Speaker A: It is. It is. He had the coins to do it. What's one lesson that you learned launching your business and one that you wish you had known from day one? [00:20:06] Speaker B: The one that I wish that I would know from day one is just that I was capable. And I've learned so much about myself and what I can do, and I just wish I wouldn't have spent so much time doubting myself. And so now it's just like I tell people I could be a heart surgeon if I wanted to. I have no doubt. You know, if I have the right tools and the right education, I believe I could do anything. But like we talked about earlier, I just hated that it took to be 45, 50 years old to realize that. But I'm capable. And the other thing that I learned is there is no shame in asking for help. [00:20:38] Speaker A: Yes. I hear so many women say that. And my friends always laugh at me, like, you didn't have a problem with that? Cause I will ask people for help, but I hear so many women say, I just don't ask for help. [00:20:50] Speaker B: I used to. Not now. I will. I have no problem with it. And I had a woman tell me the other day at an event, she said, well, it's just that what happens when people don't want to help you? I've been disappointed so many times I ask people and then they don't do it. And I'm like, then just ask somebody else. [00:21:05] Speaker A: Yes. [00:21:06] Speaker B: You know, don't let. That's that person. So, you know, you can't go to them, but just ask somebody else because somebody will help you. They will, definitely. Yeah. But I think we're afraid of that rejection. Rejection as well, or looking for. [00:21:15] Speaker A: Sure, for sure. So I want to know who is the person that helped you with your mindset? Who is the person? When you look back on all this, you're like, man, I'm going to remember that person. [00:21:27] Speaker B: For me, there are multiple people in different phases in my life. But the most profound I would have to say is my grandmother. And I lost her when I was 17. And a lot of what she told me back then, I didn't pay attention to then, but I revisited that stuff. And my first book is that dedicated, you know, to her. But a lot of what she told me now is just like, oh, my gosh, she was spot on with so many things and just me now believing everything about myself that she told me back then. [00:22:01] Speaker A: Grandmas are so special. Oh, my gosh, they are so special. I miss mine every single day. [00:22:06] Speaker B: Same. [00:22:07] Speaker A: So why soft skills? Why are they so critical? [00:22:11] Speaker B: Because it helps with the human interaction. Right. So if we just have these basic soft skills, which are really just being kind and understanding, it solves a multitude of problems. There's, you know, not so many misunderstandings, not so many hurt feelings. If you, you know, one of. To me, a major soft skill is active listening. We should listen way more than we talk because a lot of times in the listening, you realize that there's just a misunderstanding, but you have to be able to hear someone out. And so I just think that soft skills is just the foundation of having good, healthy, respectful relationships. [00:22:49] Speaker A: Yeah. I think for so long, especially in the work world, the focus was those hard skills. Can you do the job? Can you do computer information? Are you the tech guy? Or, you know, whatever it is. And then you realize when you're trying to build a culture, you're like, yeah, this person is great at the job, but nobody wants to work with this person. And I tell people all the time, my clients that One of the biggest things is that nobody smiles at me, nobody says hello. And when you're in a leadership position now, the person that you're leading thinks that you don't care about them because you haven't done those basic things that you learned when you were five years old. So I love that you focus on soft skills when adults, when you are training adults. Is that something that they realize that. [00:23:32] Speaker B: They even need a lot of times? No. No. Because they're like, I'm good at what I do. [00:23:40] Speaker A: But do the people like you that you're working with? [00:23:42] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:23:43] Speaker A: And really, our leaders, oh, my gosh. They're the biggest perpetrators of not having soft skills. Stay, before we move on, where can people go to connect with you and learn more about what you do? [00:23:56] Speaker B: They can go to ISALT, which is I s a l t, the number four in the letter u.com and find out everything and stayhall.com as well. [00:24:08] Speaker A: I love it. All right, y', all, we will be right back. Up next, reflections, lessons and the truths that Stay carries with her as an entrepreneur. We are going to dive into that book. [00:24:17] Speaker B: Okay, I'm ready. [00:24:19] Speaker A: Hold up. We're just getting started. More truth, more strategy, and less bs. Coming up next on Be Better Than youn BS right here on NOW Media Television. This is Be Better Than youn BS with Resha Grant. And around here, we get rid of the bs. Welcome back to Be Better Than youn bs. We've talked about the beginnings and the big plays. Now it's time to reflect. It's the post game, y'. All. What are the wins, the lessons, and yes, even the struggles that Stay is still working through? Stay, what was the biggest leadership lesson this journey has taught you about yourself? [00:24:56] Speaker B: That in order to be a leader, you have to also be able to follow. [00:25:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:03] Speaker B: And it's not only following those people who you feel like are above you in some sort of way. It's also being able to follow your team, be able to listen to them, because people produce more for those who they feel really value them, who appreciate them. And so I'm always open for feedback, always open for suggestions. And I just feel like that is a really big part of being a leader is also knowing how to follow. [00:25:29] Speaker A: Yeah, that's very, very true. Because I don't think leaders think they're supposed to follow. They're supposed to lead. [00:25:35] Speaker B: Right. [00:25:36] Speaker A: You know, so what is the. What's the BS that you're still pushing through for yourself? [00:25:42] Speaker B: Oh, wow. So sometimes I look at myself as somewhat of a Hypocrite, right? Because I'm always like, you know, self love, be confident. You are enough. But I still struggle with it, for sure. I mean, it's something that I've dealt with my whole life. So will it ever completely go away? Probably not. But my push through game is a lot better than it used to be. But there are still some of those times. For instance, when I got called upon to do coaching for the municipal court judges in the city, I immediately was like, I can't do that. The judge is like, who am I? But then I had to realize I'm her. [00:26:17] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:17] Speaker B: And I was called to do this for a reason. And they ended up being some of my best clients. Like, I love working with the judges. It was nothing. Like I thought in my head, I thought, I'm gonna show up in this room and they're gonna look at me like, who are you to tell us? They were so open. But every once in a while, it's still that imposter syndrome a little bit that creeps in. But I love the work that I do because it does at least keep me grounded. So as I'm teaching other people, I'm telling myself, girl, you remember that too. This goes for you too. So you have to keep it in. [00:26:43] Speaker A: The forefront because it's certainly one bad day or one bad. Like, it feels like it takes away everything you've done in your life that's been positive and great. I want to get into this book a little bit. Spilling the Myth of the Angry Black Woman. [00:26:59] Speaker B: Yes. [00:26:59] Speaker A: Where did it come from? [00:27:01] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:27:02] Speaker A: I mean, all of it. Because that is something that you hear all the time, even in my work, especially because I spent 27 years in DEI when I would meet with my clients and we would have these honest conversations and. And it was, well, she's angry at me and, you know, and this whole thing. And I was like, what makes you think that? So please tell me about the book and the force behind it. [00:27:25] Speaker B: This book is really. Could be my life story. Okay. I have been accused so much. I grew up in an area where there were not a lot of people who looked like me. Like, everyone who looked like me, I knew them. They were probably in my family or, you know, close friends. Same, same, same. So, okay, so in the workplace, everything, it's just me. And I remember specifically where I am in a room full of white men. I'm the only woman and the only person of color. And we're having a meeting to solve a problem, and they're talking, and I Have the answer to the problem. And I keep trying to interject. And every time I was like, little lady, like, you know, just a second. Like, the men are talking. And so finally it got to be enough for me. And I'm like, you know what? This is ridiculous. And I raised my voice just a little bit. Now, meanwhile, they've been yelling and screaming and pounding on tables. But when I say, you know what? This is ridiculous, I need to talk. [00:28:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:21] Speaker B: It was like, oh, my gosh. Why are you so aggressive? What is wrong with you? And I'm like, are you kidding me? And it was just. And it happened time and time again. I mean, there were even things I talk about in the book at a restaurant one time where I just had an issue with my order. It wasn't any big deal. And then the next thing I know, the manager comes out. And, like, I heard that you were upset. No, I was over it. And so. So that's why I wrote the book. Cause I'm like, I'm not alone. And so I wanted it to be support for other black women, but also education for anyone who's not a black woman who would like to understand black women. [00:28:57] Speaker A: And your subtitle is We're Not Angry. The book is dispelling the myth of the angry black woman. But the subtitle is We're Just Mad. [00:29:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:03] Speaker A: What are we mad about? [00:29:04] Speaker B: We Are Mad stands for misunderstood, accused and devalued. And that's the whole thing. And I also talk about the fact that even though I wanna dispel the myth of the angry black woman, anger in and of itself, at times is fine. It's just a regular human emotion. Exactly. I just hate that we're labeled oftentimes as just walking around angry all the time for no reason. But are we angry sometimes? Do we have reason to be angry sometimes? Of course. Just like anybody else. But it's the angry black woman. [00:29:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I notice when I'm just walking down the street, someone will walk past me. It's usually a man who will say, smile. I don't feel like smiling. I don't feel like smiling. It's not. I'm not angry or anything. But why am I just walking down the street with a big. [00:29:48] Speaker B: And how many people are looking like the Cheshire Cat? Like, that's. But for us, it's like, smile. What are you upset about? [00:29:57] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a little. It's a little bit of a weird dynamic. But I will say, like, people have to absolutely be open to understanding that that Is not. That's not the thing. And then, you know, the resting B face. [00:30:10] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [00:30:11] Speaker A: I think that's something that all women kind of deal with, and I think it's another mischaracterization. I mean, now I'll admit some women, sometimes I see people, and I'm like, what? What's wrong? You know? But a lot of times people are just in thoughts about whatever they have going on in their lives, and it's not. It doesn't have anything to do with their race, their gender or anything. [00:30:34] Speaker B: Yeah. We've just become easy targets. [00:30:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:36] Speaker B: And I think that's kind of what I wanted to dispel as well. We're just easy targets because even though we say black women, we're just women. We're just people. There's not really this different species that is the black woman. And that kind of bothers me as well. We're just people. [00:30:54] Speaker A: I'm looking forward to diving into this. And since we're on this subject, 319,000 black women lost their jobs from February to July. What were your thoughts about that? [00:31:06] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Heartbroken. But also excited a little bit. [00:31:11] Speaker A: Ooh. Why? [00:31:12] Speaker B: Because what are these 319,000 women going to do now that is probably gonna change the world? Now that they have the time and space to be who they authentically are, what kind of ideas are they gonna come up with? What kind of companies are going to rise from this? I mean, because black women are amazing. Very creative, very resilient, Even though I sometimes, you know, shy away from using that word. But it's the truth. And so I think some greatness is gon comes some awesome collaboration. So I'm a little excited. [00:31:44] Speaker A: Why are you scared to or not scared, but don't like to use the word resilient? [00:31:48] Speaker B: Because when I hear the word resilient, it reminds me of the old Timex commercial. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking. Well, I don't want to keep taking a licking. So in order to be resilient means you have to be bouncing back from something. And I'm tired now. I don't want to bounce back anymore. [00:32:02] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. I am with you on that. [00:32:05] Speaker B: I'm tired. I'm tired. So I don't want to have to keep being resilient. So resilient and strong are words that I use when I really feel I need to, but I try to substitute for something else whenever I can because I don't want to be strong nor resilient all the time. [00:32:19] Speaker A: Yes. And it does feel like an all the time thing right now especially. So that makes sense. Yeah. What do you hope people feel when they read your book or their work? [00:32:30] Speaker B: With isalt, I hope they feel that there's a change within them. I am really both with ISALT and my book. I am about changing mindsets as much as I can, giving people a different way to look at something, a different way to look at themselves. And so that's the most that I'm looking for. I love when I talk to people after sessions or after they've read my book or done the book club, and they can say, I used to think this. Now I think this. Like, that is awesome for me because I'm someone who's always open to having a mindset shift. Teach me something, you know, give me a different way to look at things. And even if it doesn't completely change your mind, at least to be able to see another perspective. [00:33:15] Speaker A: Right. [00:33:16] Speaker B: And so that's my biggest thing. Cause mindset is everything. Right. And so if I can impact a mindset, I'm like, I'm winning. I'm winning. [00:33:22] Speaker A: I always tell my audiences, like to ask yourself, could my thinking be wrong? [00:33:28] Speaker B: Yes. [00:33:28] Speaker A: I was like, here's the hint. Yes. Even if you feel like it's not, it could be. And I feel like it's the first step in starting to think differently about a situation. So, yeah, I love that. What would you tell someone who's in the running in circle stage that you once lived through? What would you tell them? Who's there? [00:33:47] Speaker B: Be still. [00:33:49] Speaker A: Stop running. Stop running. [00:33:51] Speaker B: Be still. Stop running. Let something chase you. Let something catch you. Just be still and sit with yourself. [00:33:58] Speaker A: Why is it so hard to be still? [00:34:01] Speaker B: Because you feel stagnant. You feel like you're not doing anything. I know I struggled with it a lot. Like, there were times when I'm like, okay, I'm not going to anymore networking events. I'm not sending out any more, you know, one sheets. I'm just gonna let what I've already done, the seeds I planted work. But then I'd go like a couple of days. And then I'm like, But I feel like I'm not doing anything. Cause we also want that instant gratification. But you're planting those seeds. It's gonna take some time under the ground for it to cultivate and grow. But we are impatient. And so being still is very difficult. Especially when you're someone who goes, it's hard. It's hard. [00:34:34] Speaker A: Even this stage of my life, as I'm rebuilding it's like, you need to be still. And when I tell you it lasts for about 30 seconds. [00:34:43] Speaker B: Like, okay, I'll be still on this, but then I can go work on this. [00:34:45] Speaker A: Yes, yes. And so I'm really trying to learn that and I'm really trying to embody being still. And I am flunking the course like you wouldn't believe. [00:34:55] Speaker B: But not every day. Not every day. I know. I know. [00:34:57] Speaker A: Every day it feels like it really right now. How has leadership changed you? Not just what you do, but inside as far as who you are. [00:35:05] Speaker B: Leadership has changed me in so many ways, but one of the most profound ways is it has given me a new respect for leadership that I have had in my life. And like I said, how I can go back and think about what my grandmother taught me and things like that. And so it's just made me reflect where sometimes I was the one to buck against leadership. [00:35:27] Speaker A: Yes. [00:35:28] Speaker B: And now I'm like, oh, my gosh, I see what that feels like. And I owe some people some apologies because it's not easy. It's not. And especially when you take it seriously and you want to give people your best, it's difficult. And so it's just made me look at leadership in a whole different way and what that really means. [00:35:45] Speaker A: I'm with you. There's a few people I should go back and offer apology to as just even me, even as an employee. Just like I am so sorry for any. [00:35:56] Speaker B: I was a terrible employee. [00:35:57] Speaker A: Yes, me too. [00:35:58] Speaker B: Terrible. I always thought I could do it better. Yes. [00:36:01] Speaker A: Well, that's why we work for ourselves, Right? So maybe our clients, you know, that's the thing you get to learn. Well, that actually wasn't better. And now you've lost this client. So it's a very humbling experience. [00:36:12] Speaker B: Yes. [00:36:12] Speaker A: Coming up, it's overtime, quick hits, no timeouts. We're going to have some fun with Stay in the lightning round. Hold up. We're just getting started. More truth, more strategy, and less bs. Coming up next on Be Better Than your BS right here on NOW Media Television. This is Be Better Than youn BS with Resha Grant. And around here, we get rid of the bs. Welcome back to Be Better Than youn bs. Don't miss a second of this show or any of your NOW Media TV favorites, streaming live and on demand whenever and wherever you want. Grab the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and enjoy instant access to our lineup of bilingual programs in both English and Spanish. Prefer podcasts? Listen to Be Better Than your BS anytime on the Now Media TV website at www.nowmedia.tv. covering business, breaking news, lifestyle, culture, and more. Now Media TV is available 24 7, so the stories you care about are always within reach. We have covered the pregame, the big plays and the lessons. Now it's time for overtime, the lightning round, quick hits, no timeouts. All fun. Stay. If your journey was a movie, what would the title be and who would play you? [00:37:27] Speaker B: Well, the title would be My Life. [00:37:29] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:30] Speaker B: Which L, Y, F, E. And I would love for Regina King to play me. [00:37:35] Speaker A: I like her so much. [00:37:37] Speaker B: Yes. I would really love for her to play me. [00:37:39] Speaker A: Oh, that. Yeah. I hope that happens. Okay. [00:37:42] Speaker B: Yes. I'm bringing it in, calling it in. [00:37:44] Speaker A: Okay. What's a small, quiet win that meant more to you than any public recognition? [00:37:51] Speaker B: A quiet win for me has been watching each one of my children thrive and come into their own and watching them, and now they're starting families, and I know that I had a hand in all of this. That's just awesome. Just to watch and look and see them doing the things that they've always wanted to do and excelling that. [00:38:10] Speaker A: Yeah. I read somewhere that you're a grandma. So are you the. I'm spoiling these kids rotten grandma. [00:38:16] Speaker B: I am a horrible grandma. I do spoil them, but I'm not that grandma. I had, right? So no, y' all not coming over here and staying all weekend and tearing up my house. I'm terrible. But I love them to bits and pieces. So when I have them, it's, like, all out for them. I just had the youngest who lives in Maryland. He came into town and stayed with me for a couple of days. And when I tell you I was terrified coming up to. Cause he's only a year old. [00:38:44] Speaker A: Oh, yes, I was terrified. [00:38:46] Speaker B: He was the sweetest. I could have kept him all month. Oh, he was so sweet. And he was attached to me. [00:38:51] Speaker A: Just. [00:38:51] Speaker B: I'm like, oh, you love your Mei mate. Oh, that's special. But, yeah, it's awesome, though. They're amazing. [00:38:55] Speaker A: Yeah. My sister's about to become a grandma, and she is ridiculous. She has a whole Amazon cart full of stuff. Not for my niece, but for her, for her own diaper bag. [00:39:05] Speaker B: Right? See, she gonna be great. I'm like, she's gonna be ridiculous. Kids are scary, though. They scare me. I'm like, what are y' all doing? What are y' all doing? But it's great, though. They're amazing. The oldest is 10, and the youngest is 1. [00:39:18] Speaker A: I love it. So give me one decision. You made that felt risky in the moment, but became a turning point. [00:39:24] Speaker B: Leaving corporate America to do this thing on my own again, that little doubt. Even though the business was thriving and it felt right, it's just that day when you're finally putting paper to pen to say, I'm not coming back anymore, it's like, business is hard. Yes. I mean, yes. And when you think about all that comes with it, it's like, it's not only my income, it's my insurance, it's my, you know, vacation time. It's everything. So it was scary. I wanted it so bad. But in that moment, I'm like, am I doing the right thing? Am I doing the right thing? But, yeah, I don't regret it. [00:39:57] Speaker A: The work is worth the reward. But there are times when I think, if I could just go to work, get off at 5, and come home and not think about it again till the next day. [00:40:06] Speaker B: But we'd be so bored. [00:40:07] Speaker A: I want to see it a little bit sometimes. I want to be bored a little bit. If you could give the world one permission slip, what would it say? [00:40:17] Speaker B: Be yourself and do what you want to do. [00:40:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:20] Speaker B: Because nobody cares anyway. Nobody cares. People don't care nearly as much as we think they care. [00:40:25] Speaker A: Right? That's true. [00:40:26] Speaker B: They don't. [00:40:27] Speaker A: That's true. I wonder, though, when it comes to authenticity, it really feels like people care, especially in the corporate world, more than they should, about how I show up. Not so much in the work I do and how I treat others, but literally in how I show up, how I speak, you know, how I look, all of those things. Have you noticed in your work that authenticity is just more difficult for people? [00:40:51] Speaker B: It can be. It can be. But I fight it every step of the way. I'm like, this is what you're gonna get. Love it or not. But I think that people always have issues with what they don't understand. And so I'm going to show up as my authentic self, even if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. Because again, back to me wanting to shift mindsets. So even if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable, even if you have a different expectation. Let me show you something different. [00:41:18] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Cause masking is super hard. It's way harder than being yourself. [00:41:23] Speaker B: It's stressful. I can't keep up with that. The only thing I really know how to be is mad. [00:41:28] Speaker A: Yes. [00:41:28] Speaker B: And so trying to do something else is like learning another language. It's true. [00:41:32] Speaker A: But people go into the office with, I've got a code switch. I'VE got to make sure that this thing isn't being said or I'm not showing this side of myself. I mean, so many things you're trying to keep up with it, doing the job you were actually hired to do is way down here on the list. [00:41:44] Speaker B: And code switching is something I sometimes teeter with. I had someone say that to me before. Oh, I saw you speaking at this event and whatever. And that's not how you are with us. So you up there code switching? No, I'm up there being professional. [00:41:57] Speaker A: There's a difference. [00:41:58] Speaker B: I'm like all of these people. And I think when you really get into it. Cause, you know, I have a thing with myself. I can meet people where they are. And so just because I'm not the same in every single environment you see me in, doesn't mean I'm code switching. It's just I know how to. It's about being appropriate, you know, reading the room, placing it. [00:42:17] Speaker A: I'm so glad you said that. Yeah. [00:42:18] Speaker B: So I'm not going to be the same way I was at Girls Night. When you see me in a room full of professionals, like, why would I do that? So I think some people take that whole thing, being myself, keeping it real too seriously. Because if that's yourself, that's not gonna be appropriate for what you're trying to do. [00:42:34] Speaker A: It's not gonna work. [00:42:36] Speaker B: You need to switch it up. [00:42:37] Speaker A: When you're in your element, fully locked in, what does that feel like in your body? [00:42:42] Speaker B: Satisfaction, I feel. I mean, it's just this rush of just like. Yes. You know, it just. It feels good. I love when I'm able to lock eyes with somebody and I know that I've made a connection. It's just. It's so gratifying. I love that feeling. [00:42:58] Speaker A: Yes. It's when I'm on stage and I can lock eyes with somebody that I know is receiving what I'm saying. It makes that speech go by so much faster so I can come back to them. Because, you know, when you're on stage, you look around and some people are like half sleep, and you're just on their phone. Yes. You're like, I am doing such a horrible job. And then you broaden and you see, oh, these. Okay. They're feeling this. And it gives you that power to keep going, keep getting through it. [00:43:23] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:43:24] Speaker A: What's something people assume about you that's totally wrong? Huh? [00:43:30] Speaker B: Let me think that I have always had the confidence that I exude now, or even that I'm always confident in every Moment, you know? Cause I've had people say, I don't know how you do what you do. How can you do that and not be nervous? I'm like, who said I wasn't nervous? [00:43:46] Speaker A: Yes. [00:43:47] Speaker B: Who said I wasn't nervous? Every single time my feet hit the stage? But one of my mentors, my cousin Adam, he has said, when you stop being nervous, you might want to think about something else to do because it means that you don't really care. [00:44:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:01] Speaker B: And so being confident doesn't mean that you're not nervous. No, not at all. Yeah. [00:44:05] Speaker A: Every single time I step on that stage, I'm nervous. I am so nervous. But you start talking and you move through it. [00:44:13] Speaker B: Right? Right. [00:44:14] Speaker A: What's one moment in your career that felt like a God wink? The confirmation that you were exactly where you. You were supposed to be? [00:44:21] Speaker B: Huh? Well, one of them was a conversation that I had with a CEO, and it was just a general conversation. I didn't really mention what I did or anything like that. But just in the conversation, it sparked enough interest in them to look me up. [00:44:42] Speaker A: Okay. [00:44:43] Speaker B: So they end up looking me up, finding me on LinkedIn, and I ended up getting a really great contract out of that. And I'm like. And I didn't do. And that's why I say just being still and being present in the moment, not feeling like you always have to sell yourself. Realizing that networking is really about building relationships, not saying, here's my business card, call me. And it was a conversation. I didn't even think about it. And then the next thing you know, I'm getting an email. Hey, great meeting you. Checked you out. Would love to have you do some work with my company. And it was major, and it was early on, and so I desperately was like, I hear you. [00:45:16] Speaker A: It reminds me I'm trying to be in this stage of my life. Effortless flow. [00:45:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:20] Speaker A: Where the things are coming back to me that I've been working for these past almost 30 years. And I've put in the effort. I've done all the stuff. And so that's what I'm. That's the stillness I'm trying to sit in. Who are you when the cameras are off and the lights are out? [00:45:38] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. I am plain Jane. Very, very low maintenance. Like, my favorite place to be is upstairs in my loft on the couch doing absolutely nothing. Like, if I never had to leave my house, I would never leave my house. [00:45:54] Speaker A: That is so Covid was your time. [00:45:56] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Had no problem with it whatsoever. And it's funny because I'm always gone. I'm always somewhere. It's event after event. I think I've had something every single day for the last. I think today would be for the last 19 days. Oh, wow. Every single day I've had something. And so people look at me like, clearly, you love this. No, I do it because that's what I'm called to do. But my favorite place is at home doing nothing. [00:46:20] Speaker A: Yes. [00:46:21] Speaker B: Nothing. [00:46:22] Speaker A: I fully understand that. [00:46:23] Speaker B: Yes. [00:46:24] Speaker A: If someone could shadow you for one day, what do you hope they learn just by watching you? [00:46:29] Speaker B: Oh, wow. I hope that they would learn that it's okay not to be perfect. I hope that they would learn that there's nothing wrong with making mistakes and owning it. It doesn't make you look like you're not intelligent. It doesn't make you look like you're not capable. And I hope that they would learn that it's okay to put yourself first in order to serve other people. [00:46:55] Speaker A: Yes. [00:46:56] Speaker B: Because you want to give people the best of you. And you can only give people the best of you when you put yourself first. [00:47:01] Speaker A: Very true. Very true. What's one mindset you had to completely unlearn to get to where you are today? [00:47:09] Speaker B: Huh? That's a deep one. [00:47:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:13] Speaker B: I had to unlearn the mindset of unforgiveness of myself. I had to unlearn the mindset of trying to make myself pay for mistakes. I had to unlearn the mindset of unworthiness. And so those would be the things. [00:47:32] Speaker A: Ok. Who inspires you to keep pushing. [00:47:35] Speaker B: Even when the world gets loud? Oh, that would be Wallace Lee Hall Jr. My husband. All the time. He will not let me give up. He's like, what is it? No limit. Can't stop. Won't stop. Yes. Yeah. He will not. Anytime I even say. Cause there are those days where I'm like, I'm not doing this anymore. Because it takes, like you said, one bad client, one thing, and it's just like, this isn't for me. And he's like, oh, no, no, no. Because now he's left corpor. So he's like, we in this love together. Cause he ain't going back to work. He's like, so we gonna keep pushing. [00:48:05] Speaker A: Yes. [00:48:06] Speaker B: You need that as my biggest support. [00:48:07] Speaker A: You've gotta have it. Cause life will take you out of here. What's one moment in your life that felt like a plot twist but became a part of your power? [00:48:17] Speaker B: Okay, so I don't know if I can call it a moment, but the biggest, like, I think secret in the whole thing of eyesight is Wallace was supposed to be the face of assault. [00:48:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:48:28] Speaker B: I was a behind the scenes girl. Like, I'm gonna help you build this. But the way things rolled out and how fast everything happened, it made more sense for me to be the one to leave my job to keep going. And so then all of a sudden, here I am. I'm Assault. [00:48:41] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. But Wallace might have planned that on purpose, possibly. [00:48:46] Speaker B: Cause now he's with me 100% and he's still like, you got it. [00:48:51] Speaker A: Stay. Tell us one more time where people can go to connect with you and learn more about you business. [00:48:55] Speaker B: Absolutely. So you can go to www.isaltforyou.com, which is the letter I, S, a L T, the number four in the letter u dot com, or simply go to stayhall dot com. [00:49:09] Speaker A: Stay showed us what happens when business savvy and bold storytelling come together. She's building impact through her company and her book, proving that your voice and your vision can work hand in hand. So whether you're ready to launch your business or finally write that book, take this as your sign to get in the game. Share this with someone who's ready to move from idea to action. Stay, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Thank you. [00:49:33] Speaker B: It was so much of a pleasure. [00:49:35] Speaker A: Thanks. Yes.